The birth story

Look at that hair! It's so soft and thick!

For Mother's Day, we had a yummy dinner with our families in the hospital room. It was nice to be all together on such a special occasion.


THE BIRTH STORY

Background: I had been having contractions for nearly 24 hours – but they had not been consistent or close enough together to authenticate true labor. However, the intensity had increased dramatically within the last hour and I had finally woken up my husband and asked (ok, demanded) that he help me through them. Together, we decided to go to the hospital even though the contractions were still 10 or 15 minutes apart; it was 3:30 a.m. …

After being sent to a pre-admission room in the birthplace, a nurse checked my progress, looked me in the eye and said, “You’re at a nine and a half. Do you feel the need to push?”

WHAT?!

“You may be too late for an epidural,” she said.

This can’t be happening. Alligator tears rolled down my cheeks. My facial expressions must have done a 180; much like my feelings – from enthusiastic anticipation to pure fear. This scenario is typical to add emotion and drama during movies or television – but not for real life … and not for MY life.

The words spoken during a priesthood blessing only 30 minutes earlier rang in my ears. My husband had said, “bear your pain with gladness” and “be an example to the staff.” These inspired phrases took on new meaning. I was petrified and unsure of what was coming, but the blessing assured me that my omnipotent Heavenly Father knew exactly what was in store.

As the nurses wheeled me into the labor and delivery room, I still hung to the possibility of an epidural. The anesthesiologist had been paged and an on-call delivery doctor had just arrived at Willamette Falls Hospital. In anticipation for my daughter’s arrival, I had been praying for weeks that my baby would arrive according to His timetable and asked that the doctor and staff assigned to me would be just who I needed. And an immeasurable blessing occurred: the on-call doctor was my own ob doc, Dr. Carlton. What a relief.

Ouch! I gripped the wooden bedside and breathed through an intense contraction. In walked an asian woman who introduced herself as the anesthesiologist. I began to breathe and rejoice. She asked me the standard questions and instructed me to hold perfectly still when she signaled that the needle would enter my back. I thought about how difficult it would be to remain composed and motionless if I had a contraction at that point … and with that thought came another contraction.

This was different than any contraction ever felt – and not in a good way. It was stronger, and accompanied with a command from my body for the next phase. Without an inner-monologue or conscious decision, I screamed, “I don’t want to push!” The echoes still rippled as my mom and doctor rushed back inside the room. The anesthesiologist packed up the treasure and slipped out, taking all hope with her.

My doctor, nursing staff, husband and mother all assured me that I could do this. I tried to gain confidence by reminding myself of the centuries and generations of women who have given birth naturally. But, let’s face it, I didn’t want to. I also had to face the fact that at this point, I didn’t have a choice.

It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. But, thirty minutes later, at 4:36 a.m., Dr. Carlton placed a healthy, beautiful infant on my chest. Her head of black hair and quivering bottom lip won me over in an instant. The majority of the pain was over, and the prize would be with me for an eternity.

Now that I’ve done it, would I give birth naturally by choice? No way. Never. But I feel like I was placed in this experience for a reason. So, as my mom often says, “lesson learned?” Well, there are many. Heavenly Father knows what I can endure more than I know. And, He sends tender mercies – like comfort through a priesthood blessing or my own doctor and a sweet nursing staff – to lighten the loads required to suffer. Plus, so many things went right: like Alex was with me (I was so afraid he’d be at work), my mom stood near with sympathy and comfort, we didn’t stop at the grocery store on the way to the hospital like I was considering (I can just imagine we would have been delivering in the car if we were any later), etc. etc. Heavenly Father was surely watching down. I know He loves me and He knows what’s best. I’m so thankful for Him and for my family.